Probably with compassion, understanding, and gentleness. But the minute you find yourself in a bad mood, you start judging yourself for being weak or selfish or irrational or whatever. You criticize yourself, judge yourself, and compare yourself. When you judge yourself for your bad moods, you end up feeling bad about feeling bad. The next time you find yourself in a bad mood, try a little self-compassion before you jump to self-judgment.
If you want to be emotionally stronger, make time to thoughtfully plan and problem-solve for realistic threats in the future. But outside of that, resist the urge to follow your worries down all those unproductive and confidence-killing rabbit holes. Accept your past failings. And learn from them if you can. Then find the courage to let them go and live your life going forward. Emotionally strong people are able to ask for help and support as part of a larger strategy of working through emotional difficulties.
But if other people are your entire strategy for working through emotional struggles, you will be stuck in a pattern of low confidence and emotional fragility. A healthy, confident, and strong self depends on healthy boundaries. On the other hand, emotional fragility is almost a guarantee if you fail to set good boundaries or refuse to enforce them. Now, I get it… setting healthy boundaries is hard. And enforcing them is even harder.
From worries about people getting upset with us to awkwardness to indecision and self-doubt, there are all sorts of difficult feelings that make enforcing your boundaries challenging.
Maybe the trials keep coming and the earth keeps spinning and you are just trying to put one foot in front of the other. Maybe you sit in your car, pleading with God and trying not to cry. Maybe you wear the mask of having it all together, when in reality it feels like the drumbeats of Jumanji are about to erupt from your heart.
Maybe you are about one rude comment away from losing your ever-loving mind and pulling a Britney Spears. What kind of mad wo man does that sort of thing?! She is crazy. We all have those days. Cut her some slack. And she does just cry, cry, cry in her lonely heart.
I guess my point is this: we have all been through seasons of fragility or we will face them in the future. We are living in the not-yet, and the brokenness is all around us. The brokenness is inside of us. Life can be hard and incredibly Toxic. Oops…I did it again. Sometimes we play the victim and sometimes we play the martyr. We might take out our pent-up weaknesses out on others, trying to hurt someone else in the ways we are hurting. Or we might just embrace the emotional train wreck in which we are living and little by little—we lose hope.
When you find yourself anxious and afraid, remember that there is no chaos in God. Anxiety and fear are not fruits of the Spirit. Our God is a God of perfect peace. The more I battle worry and fear, the more I think anxiety is a form of spiritual warfare.
Satan feeds on these weak spots and hits us in the pressure points; he wants us to become trapped in his web of lies. Fantastic article and absolutely spot on. God bless the soul who wrote this because they hit everything right on the money.
I just have to say thank you for putting this together clearly and easy to follow. After reading this article, i now have a good starting point in my journey to regaining me. Thank you!! Thank you Nick for making me understand at the age of 19 what i had been doing all this time. I am starting to feel my emotions and i can see myself hiding beneath all. Thanks a lot Nick for this! I am 57 and recently started the journey back to better mental health.
I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel…. Someone is not giving credit, I fear. Ultimately, if you want to end the cycle of emotional fragility and become more resilient, you have to start facing your fears and dealing with them head-on.
You can only do this if you free up a little time in your schedule to self-reflect and ask yourself what really needs to be addressed. Trishna Patnaik is an art therapist and healer. She works with clients on a one-to-one basis in Mumbai. Very interesting article — is substance abuse a coping method of emotional fragility?
Being emotionally fragile means you have a hard time managing difficult emotions: Little bits of worry throw you into cycles of anxiety and panic. Small bouts of sadness lead to spirals of self-criticism and depression. Tiny bits of irritation quickly blaze into hours or days of anger.
Moderate levels of trust in your manager at work. And a low level of trust in used-car salesmen. Well, the same is true of your own thoughts… Not all of your thoughts deserve to be trusted equally. After all, sometimes a thought is just a thought. Relying on coping skills A common trap that emotionally fragile people fall into is relying on coping skills to feel good.
A coping skill is a technique or strategy you use to temporarily feel better: Doing some deep breathing exercises when you feel stressed.
Repeating your positive self-image mantra when you feel bad about yourself. While coping skills have their place, relying on them can be dangerous. Breaking promises to yourself Emotionally fragile people often struggle with low self-esteem. Reassurance-seeking Emotionally fragile people often get stuck in the habit of asking for reassurance anytime they feel scared, sad, or upset.
Staying busy all the time One of the least well-known habits that leads to emotional fragility is constantly staying busy. For example: If your relationship is unhappy but you are too afraid or ashamed to try and improve it, constant busyness helps you avoid that pain. If you want to be less emotionally fragile, work to eliminate these habits: Being too trusting of your thoughts Relying on coping skills to feel better Breaking promises to yourself Always going with the flow Being judgmental with yourself Reassurance-seeking Constantly staying busy.
By post author. This is a great list and great examples of each habit! Thank you! Beautiful article.. You bet, Jayant. Great example, Denise! You bet, Deb! Glad it was helpful. Excellent article.
Thank you, Eileen! So glad it resonated, Tara! Hi Nick, Another terrific article! Can you post something on never feeling good enough. Added to the list! Thanks so much, Onti! Excellent read. Thank you. I understand not trusting all your thoughts at face value.
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